Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
A: 3rd grade
Tuesday 15 July 2008
37 Days
A blonde walked into a bar. She sat down and started chanting, " 37 days! 37 days!" The bartender asked what she was doing, but she didn't answer, just kept chanting "37 days! 37 days!"
Soon more blondes came in, all chanting "37 days! 37 days!" The bartender again asked what they were doing, and one of them held up a little kid's bunny-rabbit jigsaw puzzle and said, " The box says 2-4 years, but we put it together in 37 days!"
Soon more blondes came in, all chanting "37 days! 37 days!" The bartender again asked what they were doing, and one of them held up a little kid's bunny-rabbit jigsaw puzzle and said, " The box says 2-4 years, but we put it together in 37 days!"
Monday 14 July 2008
Blonde Car Accident
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.
He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.
Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.
The blonde started laughing.
This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.
This time the blonde laughed even harder.
Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.
The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.
The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
Cat and the Rooster
There was a cat and a rooster wondering by a lake. Both were famished, looking for any food they could find, but to no avail. Later on, the rooster finds himself focusing upon a worm, inching its way nearby. The rooster then proceeds to chase and then pounce on the worm, eating it quickly. Resting after his meal, he rubs his belly in pure satisfaction.
The cat looks at the rooster and thinks to himself,"Well, if he can do it, I can do it." Not long after the rooster eats his worm, the cat spots a mouse scurrying nearby the lake. The cat raises its tail, arches its back, and with all its might, attempts to pounce on the mouse, only to end up in the lake. What is the moral of the story?
Where there is a satisfied cock, there is a wet pussy...
The cat looks at the rooster and thinks to himself,"Well, if he can do it, I can do it." Not long after the rooster eats his worm, the cat spots a mouse scurrying nearby the lake. The cat raises its tail, arches its back, and with all its might, attempts to pounce on the mouse, only to end up in the lake. What is the moral of the story?
Where there is a satisfied cock, there is a wet pussy...
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Cat and the Rooster
Caught with the turkey
A farmer and his wife are given the gift of a parrot from a relative. The Parrot, being a male, sneaks out and screws the next door neighbors turkeys and rushes back home, but not before being caught in the act.
The next door neighbors knock on the door and explain what the Parrot has been doing. The owners of the parrot reprimand him and tell him if he doesn't stop it he's going to shave the parrots head.
That night the Parrot, overcome with desire, sneaks out and screws his neighbors turkeys again. The next morning the owner ties the bird down and proceeds to shave his head.
The following morning is the Farmers daughters wedding, and in order to please the relative that gave them the parrot, they sit the parrot on a piano and tell him for his punishment he has to greet all the guests and tell them where to sit in the church.
The parrot is doing fine. 'Grooms side to the left and Brides side to the right'. Until two bald guys walk in and he says, 'And you two Turkey fuckers up on the piano with me!!!'
The next door neighbors knock on the door and explain what the Parrot has been doing. The owners of the parrot reprimand him and tell him if he doesn't stop it he's going to shave the parrots head.
That night the Parrot, overcome with desire, sneaks out and screws his neighbors turkeys again. The next morning the owner ties the bird down and proceeds to shave his head.
The following morning is the Farmers daughters wedding, and in order to please the relative that gave them the parrot, they sit the parrot on a piano and tell him for his punishment he has to greet all the guests and tell them where to sit in the church.
The parrot is doing fine. 'Grooms side to the left and Brides side to the right'. Until two bald guys walk in and he says, 'And you two Turkey fuckers up on the piano with me!!!'
Labels:
Caught with the turkey
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